Which Conversation Are You Having?

Conversation is an essential part of human life, connecting us to others and shaping how we experience the world. According to research, during any interaction one of three primary types of conversation will be occurring. They are practical, emotional, or social.

It is essential that we understand the type of conversation the other person is having because if we are not having the same type of conversation, then we will not be able to build rapport and the interaction will be frustrating rather than rewarding. Ask yourself, does this person want to be Heard, Helped or Hugged?

1. Practical Conversations: Solving Problems and Getting Things Done

Practical conversations often occur at the start of any interaction. As well as identifying what you want to talk about they focus on tasks, goals, or solving problems.

These are the discussions you have to coordinate plans, share instructions, or make decisions.

Effective practical conversations can be identified by their efficiency and clarity.

How to excel in practical conversations:

• Be clear and concise: Use straightforward language to avoid misunderstandings.

• Stay focused: Keep the discussion on track to save time.

• Summarize and confirm: Restate agreements to ensure everyone is on the same page.

Practical conversations are all about functionality, helping people achieve their goals quickly and effectively. They are results-driven, prioritizing information over emotion. For instance, when planning an event, participants focus on logistics—who does what, when, and how.

2. Emotional Conversations: Sharing Feelings and Building Understanding

Emotional conversations centre on feelings, empathy, and emotional support. They are crucial for building trust and deepening relationships. Unlike practical conversations, they are less about solutions and more about presence and understanding. Emotional conversations involve active listening and responding with care.

How to improve emotional conversations:

• Listen actively: Give the speaker your full attention without interrupting.

• Acknowledge emotions: Validate how the person feels, even if you don’t fully agree.

• Be supportive: Offer encouragement or a comforting presence without immediately jumping to solutions.

These types of conversations strengthen bonds and remind us of the importance of connection and empathy.

3. Social Conversations: Strengthening Relationships and Building Community

Social conversations are about enjoying interactions, building rapport, and fostering a sense of community. These are the casual chats, small talk, and light-hearted exchanges we have with friends, family, or acquaintances. They might not always have a specific goal, but they play a vital role in maintaining relationships and creating a sense of belonging. Social conversations are often relaxed and open-ended.

How to make social conversations more meaningful:

• Show interest: Ask open-ended questions to encourage others to share.

• Be engaging: Share stories or humour to keep the conversation lively.

• Practice reciprocity: Balance speaking and listening to create a two-way exchange.

Social conversations create camaraderie and help us feel connected, even when the interaction is only fleeting.

Conclusion

Every conversation has a purpose, whether it’s solving a problem, expressing emotions, or simply enjoying the company of others. Recognizing the type of conversation you’re in allows you to adapt your approach for maximum impact.

Ask yourself what the other person wants from the conversation. Do they want to be Heard, Helped or Hugged and match your response

accordingly.

Understanding these different types of conversation is essential in both our social and our working lives and mastering them will help you build rapport and strengthen relationships.